Psychiatrist Carl Jung called our submerged creative potential or greatness the “Golden Shadow.” You can discover your golden shadow in your intense admiration of other people. The bright qualities that you look up to in others represent the disowned aspects of your unique potential. During the process of writing my ancestral novel, I have admired my transcestor Soo Hyeon. After four years of channeling and conjuring him, I finally decided to be brave like him. I celebrated my 1 year anniversary of top surgery on Aug 22 and now understand the term gender euphoria. How I inhabit my body, feel in my body, love (in) my body is a revelation.
In May the first cohort of my 9 month free your voice and body stories training graduated. We all did performance rituals. In mine, I showed my new chest publicly for the first time. The next morning I woke up lighter, with a deep embrace of my trans-ness and a desire for pleasure and joy.
Each breath each shape each holy space, a carving of ribs a falling away. All that remains is the beating heart, the rhythm of us these pulsing rhymes. Blood in our temples this sacred prayer: may our love feed the ancestors every way.
Last year, I chose to make an ancestor Eun Hee who scared me with her erotic power a main character. I see the fruits of my labor now as I embrace pleasure and release my pain body. None of this process has been super conscious or linear but a by-product of trying to write new life narratives.
What qualities that you admire deeply in others do you want to embody? What new stories do you want to write about your life?
This fall, come join my 2nd cohort of Free Your Voice and Body Stories. The schedule and pricing has changed! This 9 month training in Berkeley (Sept 30-June 2: 2 Mondays 630-930 and 1 Sunday 10am-5pm a month) is half singing and half expressive arts (movement, drawing, writing, theater) to help you release, embody your golden shadow, and transform. We explore a different body part each month and culminate in ritual performances. Apply here. https://docs.google.com/…/1mMDG4KNtF7ABPbtbek4c5zi…/edit $3240. A few partial scholarships and work trade options available. Flexible payment plans. I also offer shorter 10 wk courses and 2 hour workshops if you aren’t ready for a deep dive. Hit me up for private sessions as well.
Tonight I’m offering a 90 minute Ancestral Medicine workshop in SF that incorporates a theta drum journey to contact a benevolent ancestor and expressive arts to integrate your experience. Five or six years ago, my ancestor Wang came to me through this process and told me to write a book about him. My whole life changed in that moment as I’ve been busy telling my ancestors’ stories and rewriting our lives.